Apparently, butt cheeks are in this summer.  

I don’t think I got that memo, because I still can barely contain my surprise when I’m walking along in the mall and I find myself following four teenaged girls who have four pairs of butt cheeks peeking from beneath a scrap of fabric smaller than a napkin. Or when I’m standing in the post office and a fairly professional woman is standing in front of me, wearing a completely respectable sweater and pumps that match.  She looks like she’s on her lunch break, except for the fact that, right in the middle of her body, is this tiny little wispy, lacy piece of fabric that I thought was underwear but it, in fact, shorts. It felt like some sexualized, pulsating music was going to blare from the post office speakers at any moment and that this woman was going to begin dancing, suggestively thrusting her hips while she rubbed up against the shelf full of packaging supplies.

I guess my point is this – what in the hell is going on in the fashion world?

I don’t pretend to be “up” on fashion because, frankly, I don’t care.  If I want to sink $300 for a sweater, I’m also going to have to invest that much in a shrink to figure out why I spent so much on a stupid piece of clothing in the first place.  But seriously… butt cheeks?  Why are they in fashion this year?  We’ve always had them.  They’re always there.  But maybe they’re repressed and now is their time to shine?  Were they aching to be heard?  Were they demanding to be free from the oppressiveness of cotton panties?

Seriously, someone clue me in?  How is this fashion, and not just further proof that the entire world is overly saturated in sex?