I am constantly conflicted.   The same person who is obsessed with the 1940s and is fascinated by the idea of a life of total simplicity is also a technology fiend.  Macbook, iPhone, iPad, iPod, Kindle – I have them all.  And one or the other is usually no more than a foot away from me at any given time.  My iPhone is always with me.  I drive to work listening to Fibber McGee & Molly on one of my old iPod Nanos.  I fall asleep at night, after reading in the dark for a while on my Kindle Paperwhite, to old time radio shows on one of my even older iPod Nanos.  I just bought both an iPad Mini and a brand new iPod Nano last night.  And now I feel overwhelmed.

Can one be too in touch with the world?  Because I feel like I am.  I’m always reading the news and checking the weather and checking my Twitter and my Tumblr and I’m just over it.  I have a Facebook account but I started hating Facebook years ago so I barely check it.  This particular blog is honestly the only web-based thing that I’m not sick of these days.

(Meanwhile, I’m wanting to develop a website dedicated to Fibber McGee & Molly and life in the 1940s. I’ve already bid on a website address that I’m trying to get for this site. This is in total contrast to the fact that I want to run screaming away from anything online.  See? Conflicted!!!)

I just… I’m overwhelmed.  I don’t know what to do.  I need to focus on the things in my house that need doing, like putting away laundry and scrubbing the stove and dusting and making things just feel good.  Instead, I’m drawn to my electronic devices and end up wasting copious amounts of time.  I don’t know where the happy medium is but I want to find it.  I hate the idea of being disconnected from the world but at the same time, I absolutely hate this feeling of being disconnected from myself.  I need to pull back and spend some time cooking (because Lord knows that I need to get creative.  This working the night shift thing is killing me when it comes to meal preparation.)

I guess I have a choice to make.  I love my technology and I will continue to do so, but perhaps I need to love it less.  Unfortunately, it’s like an addiction at this point, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to change my habits, but I have to try, right?  I guess I need to focus on the parts of the web that I love and let the things that I make me insane fall away.