I’ve spent the last 3.5 weeks (since putting Kyle to sleep) in various emotional states, ranging from super depressed to almost numb. For a while, I found a bit of respite in my old standby, writing fanfiction, but now I’m in the mood to pull away from that again. (There’s only so much fanfiction you can write when the show that inspired you to publish your works for others to see in the first place starts sucking and the characters turn into pod people!) It seems that each time I start working on my novel, something happens to make me stop. And by the time I’m ready to pick it up again, the story and the characters have changed in ways I hadn’t planned. My notes and ideas for this novel are so fragmented and when I go to write and get frustrated, I end up back in fanfiction-land again because it’s easy and satisfying. (And face it, we all can’t be EL James. Not that I would ever claim 50 Shades of Grey as my own since it’s both horribly written and moronic.)
So anyway, there really isn’t a point to this post other than to say that I’m trying to move forward and get focused on writing again. Something of substance, I mean, not fanfic. *sigh*
Life on Wild Hare Farm 
We’ve all been there — it happens. Not that THAT should make you feel better, but don’t be so hard on yourself. Someone once told me that the act of writing itself has no linear path or structure — it just is. I never knew what it meant, but I get it. Sometimes I can write easily write a chapter from beginning to end, but most times it’s fragmented — a piece here, a piece there… but what does work is when things are not going as planned, I try (TRY) to be nice to myself about it. I’m a big believer in artists of all types to learn to nurture their creative selves instead of beating themselves up… 🙂
You’re right. I’ve spent a lot of time beating myself up instead of actually writing. I’m making myself change that now and just writing to write. Writing is balm for my soul – I need to remember that!!!!